My Life Before the Sellout
I was many things before my transformation into corporate drone. My previous employers ran the gamut from standard high school/college summer job (Camp counselor, lifeguard) to depraved and slightly embarrassing (Hooters anyone?) But I find that though I may retain the most amount of dignity in my current position I also carry skills learned at these menial establishments into my day to day office existence. Over the next few days I will highlight my experiences.
Job - Camp Counselor for 7 year old boys / Lifeguard
Place - Un-named day camp by Bear Mountain
Age - 16 to 22
Skills learned -
1. All boys (no matter how old) can be placated with a smile and a reassurance of their manhood. This helps greatly with the current boss.
2. Never wear a bikini to work, even if all those around you seem to find it acceptable. It is in no way acceptable for your jiggly woman parts to be flaunted in a paying position unless you're this girl. This doesn't necessarily relate to my current position but when I pick out my blouses in the morning I make sure to bend over in front of the mirror to see if you can catch a peek of Valhalla.
3. Men will be pervs and will try to get away with as much as you let them. I learned this one the hard way. Summer camps can be sexually charged and when your forty year old supervisor wants to join in the fun you must put your foot down and keep his dirty mind out of your business. I have watched in horror as grown men gave thirteen year old girls "backrubs" and stood at the waterfront gawking at those who dared break rule number 2. Again it matters not if you work in a summer camp or an office. Act the way you want to be treated and deter those who would try and make you insignificant because you were genetically designed to lack penis.
4. Women will destroy anyone they view as competition. Poor Rachel, one of my few good friends from this job. She was a pretty blond, and she had a great rack, she never stood a chance. Like a pack of rabid bitches the clique in power descended upon her making up rumors and vilifying each attempt at niceties she made. You're a better girl then they will ever be Ray. Nothing is uglier then a group of insecure girls who must destroy every perceived threat to their current standings among the male folk. I try my best to avoid this behavior and it is one of the few things that makes me ashamed to be a woman.
5. Never try to work with an ex, especially from a relationship that had just ended and lasted more then one year. Its degrading to have to answer to someone when you know that they're to lazy to fuck or do anything of merit when not employed by said summer job. Its even worse when your boss encourages that the two of you get back together because and I quote, "You two looked so nice with each other." Well, I don't think this will be an issue with my current job (all the men I work with are married or middle aged divorcees,) but it remains consistent with the pen and the company inkwell. Just don't it will be better for everyone involved.
The problem with most summer camps is that they are located in the suburbs, therefore you will be working with suburban people. Not to insult anyone, but as a city girl I found my relatability low to nil among this group of people. Its hard to blend in when you don't know your Abercrombie from your AE and could care less about the mall. I made some friends, and probably even more enemies working those summers. But I did catch a very nice tan (even though I had to wear one of those god-awful, oh-so-flattering racing suits by Speedo.)
Job - Camp Counselor for 7 year old boys / Lifeguard
Place - Un-named day camp by Bear Mountain
Age - 16 to 22
Skills learned -
1. All boys (no matter how old) can be placated with a smile and a reassurance of their manhood. This helps greatly with the current boss.
2. Never wear a bikini to work, even if all those around you seem to find it acceptable. It is in no way acceptable for your jiggly woman parts to be flaunted in a paying position unless you're this girl. This doesn't necessarily relate to my current position but when I pick out my blouses in the morning I make sure to bend over in front of the mirror to see if you can catch a peek of Valhalla.
3. Men will be pervs and will try to get away with as much as you let them. I learned this one the hard way. Summer camps can be sexually charged and when your forty year old supervisor wants to join in the fun you must put your foot down and keep his dirty mind out of your business. I have watched in horror as grown men gave thirteen year old girls "backrubs" and stood at the waterfront gawking at those who dared break rule number 2. Again it matters not if you work in a summer camp or an office. Act the way you want to be treated and deter those who would try and make you insignificant because you were genetically designed to lack penis.
4. Women will destroy anyone they view as competition. Poor Rachel, one of my few good friends from this job. She was a pretty blond, and she had a great rack, she never stood a chance. Like a pack of rabid bitches the clique in power descended upon her making up rumors and vilifying each attempt at niceties she made. You're a better girl then they will ever be Ray. Nothing is uglier then a group of insecure girls who must destroy every perceived threat to their current standings among the male folk. I try my best to avoid this behavior and it is one of the few things that makes me ashamed to be a woman.
5. Never try to work with an ex, especially from a relationship that had just ended and lasted more then one year. Its degrading to have to answer to someone when you know that they're to lazy to fuck or do anything of merit when not employed by said summer job. Its even worse when your boss encourages that the two of you get back together because and I quote, "You two looked so nice with each other." Well, I don't think this will be an issue with my current job (all the men I work with are married or middle aged divorcees,) but it remains consistent with the pen and the company inkwell. Just don't it will be better for everyone involved.
The problem with most summer camps is that they are located in the suburbs, therefore you will be working with suburban people. Not to insult anyone, but as a city girl I found my relatability low to nil among this group of people. Its hard to blend in when you don't know your Abercrombie from your AE and could care less about the mall. I made some friends, and probably even more enemies working those summers. But I did catch a very nice tan (even though I had to wear one of those god-awful, oh-so-flattering racing suits by Speedo.)
posted by selling my soul at 11:57 AM
1 Comments:
And the funny thing about those people is probably more than half of them are miserable and in unhappy marriages, gained weight and lost their looks.. and they're just like everyone else, when in fact you remain special and always, yourself. Way more dignified.
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