Growing old not growing up
I was out yesterday, I took a much deserved vacation day after dealing with liars, babies and whiners for a solid month I felt it was my time to sit in the tub with my drug of choice, nothing to get your panties in a bunch over I'm not an addict and doing anything hardcore even near a body of water no less in it is not something I would put on my to do list. So there I was sitting in warm water up to my neck and hoping to god that I could just relax for five minutes, I swear I'm at the point where the kinks in my neck have kinks of their own, and all I could do was stress about missing a day at work and what I would have to face when I returned.
To reiterate, I was approached on Wednesday by one of my many co-workers who was denied a comp day by our supervisor. He knows that I can usually finesse the boss and get what I want, which has made me quite the commodity as of late. He told me a sob story about himself and his partner, his partner it seems had done quite a load of work and truly did deserve the day, however this man did not, simply showing up at work and not actually working does not a comp day make and I firmly told him so as to not create confusion that because his colleague did viable work that I would go to bat for him, but that like many of his fellow employees who showed up that Sunday, he did not deserve one in our bosses eyes and that my hands were tied.
Cut to Friday and an email in my inbox instructing those above him to grant him a comp day because of all the viable work he did. Now this insults me in two ways, first does he think I'm an asshole, does he think that I don't remember what he said to me or his response to my statements? Did he think I wasn't going to say anything now that he's put me in a delicate situation, I mean please he fucking CC'd me on the email, was he waving it in my face as defiance? The second thing that bothered me even more was his presumption that he was more deserving then every other person who worked and toiled just as hard, if not harder that day. To lie to get what you want without realizing that as a group you were denied is to say I'm more important and the rules simply don't apply to me. Now I'm not the "go team!" type person but an iota of solidarity means a lot to someone like me. I spoke my peace and hated every moment of it. This man, this co-worker, at least twenty years my senior had turned me into a rat, a school yard snitch telling on her friends because they did a "bad thing."
And today as I cleaned up bits of boxes and garbage from the supply drawers because office manager is one of my many titles and it is my job to keep things organized and neat, I faced another problem. I've been cleaning garbage all along but I hoped that things would straighten themselves out once we relocated apart from the other departments. I secretly had convinced myself that the culprits were not those that I worked with but some external force I could disdain without having to smile to their faces. I was wrong. I work with children, children who lie and steal and drop their messes on the floor hoping someone else will come along and pick up after them. I hate what I'm becoming but my only choice is to resign my position or be resigned to it all. Working here I've realized that aging is simply a physical process that can't be helped but maturity only comes to those who embrace it.
To reiterate, I was approached on Wednesday by one of my many co-workers who was denied a comp day by our supervisor. He knows that I can usually finesse the boss and get what I want, which has made me quite the commodity as of late. He told me a sob story about himself and his partner, his partner it seems had done quite a load of work and truly did deserve the day, however this man did not, simply showing up at work and not actually working does not a comp day make and I firmly told him so as to not create confusion that because his colleague did viable work that I would go to bat for him, but that like many of his fellow employees who showed up that Sunday, he did not deserve one in our bosses eyes and that my hands were tied.
Cut to Friday and an email in my inbox instructing those above him to grant him a comp day because of all the viable work he did. Now this insults me in two ways, first does he think I'm an asshole, does he think that I don't remember what he said to me or his response to my statements? Did he think I wasn't going to say anything now that he's put me in a delicate situation, I mean please he fucking CC'd me on the email, was he waving it in my face as defiance? The second thing that bothered me even more was his presumption that he was more deserving then every other person who worked and toiled just as hard, if not harder that day. To lie to get what you want without realizing that as a group you were denied is to say I'm more important and the rules simply don't apply to me. Now I'm not the "go team!" type person but an iota of solidarity means a lot to someone like me. I spoke my peace and hated every moment of it. This man, this co-worker, at least twenty years my senior had turned me into a rat, a school yard snitch telling on her friends because they did a "bad thing."
And today as I cleaned up bits of boxes and garbage from the supply drawers because office manager is one of my many titles and it is my job to keep things organized and neat, I faced another problem. I've been cleaning garbage all along but I hoped that things would straighten themselves out once we relocated apart from the other departments. I secretly had convinced myself that the culprits were not those that I worked with but some external force I could disdain without having to smile to their faces. I was wrong. I work with children, children who lie and steal and drop their messes on the floor hoping someone else will come along and pick up after them. I hate what I'm becoming but my only choice is to resign my position or be resigned to it all. Working here I've realized that aging is simply a physical process that can't be helped but maturity only comes to those who embrace it.
posted by selling my soul at 3:13 PM
1 Comments:
Welcome to office life.. that is the reason I got out of admin. I always felt like someone else's doormat.. and there's always the coniver, the back-stabber.. something to that effect in just about every office.. always ppl who think they deserve more, have worked harder, etc.. The only way I got out of that was to build upon my skills so I could be more autonomous. Not sure if that's what you're going for.. sometimes go go dancing sounds way more fun. ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home