I Just Can't Deal
I'm coping out, I know I should try to stick around and milk this place for what its worth, but honestly I can't find anything of worth anymore. The tuition reimbursement was a crock of shit spoon fed to me by an overgrown child faced with the demise of his career. I'm not an idiot, I would have taken the job for the other benefits. Medical insurance, hey that means I can get sick and not have to join one of those drug studies at Columbia to get medical treatment; Dental, my teeth have never been so pearly; financial stability, I now know what a 401k is, and can use it in a conversation without coming across as a poser.
I'm miserable when I get up in the morning. I can barely look in the mirror before I leave, and rarely do I make it in on time. I can't look at my boss without having waves of nausea pass over my body and my hatred for him grows stronger every day. I used to be able to rationalize my feelings into a small corner and function but these days I find myself dreaming about hitting him in the head with a blunt object while repeatedly chanting, "your career is over, you'll never be any more then you are now." You peaked awhile ago and have stayed on the top by your own sheer will, have fun on the trip back down asshole.
I posted a resume online the other day and recruiters have been calling me left and right. The only problem is the jobs they're offering are all related to the financial industry. I'm done with finance, I hate bankers, I hate accountants and now I also hate the French. I want to do something that makes me feel good about myself. Something noble, something that benefits more then just my bank account. I look at Rob and his job with children, he has his ups and downs but he loves what he does and it shows. I don't think I've ever been in that position. Making money simply to make money is fine for some people, but me, I need something more.
I'm miserable when I get up in the morning. I can barely look in the mirror before I leave, and rarely do I make it in on time. I can't look at my boss without having waves of nausea pass over my body and my hatred for him grows stronger every day. I used to be able to rationalize my feelings into a small corner and function but these days I find myself dreaming about hitting him in the head with a blunt object while repeatedly chanting, "your career is over, you'll never be any more then you are now." You peaked awhile ago and have stayed on the top by your own sheer will, have fun on the trip back down asshole.
I posted a resume online the other day and recruiters have been calling me left and right. The only problem is the jobs they're offering are all related to the financial industry. I'm done with finance, I hate bankers, I hate accountants and now I also hate the French. I want to do something that makes me feel good about myself. Something noble, something that benefits more then just my bank account. I look at Rob and his job with children, he has his ups and downs but he loves what he does and it shows. I don't think I've ever been in that position. Making money simply to make money is fine for some people, but me, I need something more.
posted by selling my soul at 10:06 AM
1 Comments:
I'm going thru something similar, probably not quite as extreme. I'm really sorry girl.. your resume out there is obviously a great step.. I'm sure it's great but have you thought about revising it as an accomplishment type resume - basically, showing your skills, but not attaching it to that particular industry. That's what I have so I can use it for trying to jump to a new career.. Everyone looks for someone who can multi-task, who's detail-oriented.. an organizer, who's managed this or that, facilitated this or that.. but obviously you have to find what industry will inspire you first. Good luck chica!
(ps - send me your email so I can include you on something if you don't mind - I promise - no jokes or anything too stupid: missdevylish@gmail.com)
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