Out of the Frying Pan

See, here's the thing no one told me about, after doing corporate for two years and getting accustomed to having a place and a job description, moving to small sector is damn near torture.

I arrive at the new job on time, eager and ready to show what I'm worth. There seems to be a mistake with the contact I've signed. I'm not there to assist copy, I'm there to assist the account teams. I meet a lesbian who fits the stereotype to a tee. Short hair, baggy pants, polo shirt and flat Aerosole dress shoes with laces up the front. She sits me in my cube and I look over the list that the prior employee has kindly made for me.

"Make sure the pantry is stocked at all times."

Wait, surely I read that wrong, they want me to stock the pantry?

"The refrigerator must be cleaned out every Friday, send a mass email to all employees letting them know that this will be happening."

Clean the Refrigerator, hell I don't even clean my own refrigerator.

I smile and take it in stride as the day goes by. I leave at 5:30 and take the ride home to think about what's wrong with a little extra grunt work. I make it into the office at 9AM the next day. The lesbian is waiting for me.

"Make copies for myself M-----, M------, and L-----." She shoves some papers in my face and I'm off to the copy room. I return five minutes later and hand her the stack.

"Um...-t-....What's wrong with this picture?" She asks making me feel like an 11 year old who just got busted for writing on the bathroom wall.
"No staple, -t- everything must be stapled or clipped, do you understand, we can't trust you with important work if things are not done properly. This is unacceptable."
I stammer and nod my head retreating to my desk. From the tone in her voice you wold have thought I handed her a dead puppy.
"-t-!" She bellows . There's a client meeting tomorrow you need to clean out the conference room. There is furniture polish in the credenza and a dustbuster in your desk."
I nearly swallow my tongue. She wants me to polish furniture and vacuum, with a DUST BUSTER!!!!

I watch as the last of my pride escapes my hunched over body as I wax the table and drop to my hands an knees to make sure the cracker crumbs don't distress the client.

I'm going to need another job. I now can consider myself a college educated scullery maid.