A Stream of Consciousness
Counting the minutes until I never have to return. There are many people I will miss and some I will not but things move on and I adapt.
Was I really so naive as to believe that the bank would cease to exist without me? Things will continue on the day after my last just as they did on my first. Transactions will occur, people will work, others will not, things will move forward (or not.)
My temp replacement got to work early on Monday, I waltzed in twenty minutes late with no apologies. I sat in my tiny workstation with her all day, wishing for a five minute reprieve so I could check my websites and fuck around for a bit. So much to show her and such little time.
I wrote a manual/guide of the things she will need in this position, trying my best to sugar coat what will eventually become an unpleasant experience for her. She read it, and highlighted passages, never has my writing been so studiously examined before and I felt flattered.
Today I sat in the vacant office and browsed the web while she did my work. My bliss was intermittently broken up with her questions and comments. My door stood still for no longer then five minutes at a time, all the people coming in and out to discuss and gossip before I was gone.
I didn't let the false power go to my head. The boss called at 5PM to tell me he wouldn't make it out to Jersey City tomorrow. He has a golf outing on Thursday so I won't be seeing him before my departure. I don't know if I should be hurt or relieved.
I will have margaritas as a lunch tomorrow and gather my things from the cubicle. I hope if I keep smiling and making snarky comments people won't know how terrified I truly am.
Was I really so naive as to believe that the bank would cease to exist without me? Things will continue on the day after my last just as they did on my first. Transactions will occur, people will work, others will not, things will move forward (or not.)
My temp replacement got to work early on Monday, I waltzed in twenty minutes late with no apologies. I sat in my tiny workstation with her all day, wishing for a five minute reprieve so I could check my websites and fuck around for a bit. So much to show her and such little time.
I wrote a manual/guide of the things she will need in this position, trying my best to sugar coat what will eventually become an unpleasant experience for her. She read it, and highlighted passages, never has my writing been so studiously examined before and I felt flattered.
Today I sat in the vacant office and browsed the web while she did my work. My bliss was intermittently broken up with her questions and comments. My door stood still for no longer then five minutes at a time, all the people coming in and out to discuss and gossip before I was gone.
I didn't let the false power go to my head. The boss called at 5PM to tell me he wouldn't make it out to Jersey City tomorrow. He has a golf outing on Thursday so I won't be seeing him before my departure. I don't know if I should be hurt or relieved.
I will have margaritas as a lunch tomorrow and gather my things from the cubicle. I hope if I keep smiling and making snarky comments people won't know how terrified I truly am.
posted by selling my soul at 7:35 PM
1 Comments:
Nerves are good.. so is change and that place was awful for you. Congrats on getting yourself out of there and onto a brighter future t! You deserve it!
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